Dear Leader, when was the last time you felt anger?


Dear Leader, when was the last time you felt anger?

Last time I spoke about emotions in the workspace and the emotional intelligence. I also emphasized that effective leadership is about: 

  • paying attention to your feelings and your emotions, 
  • figuring out what message your emotions hold for you, 
  • being aware of where the feeling are coming form 

instead of merely reacting to them. This is a key to effective & inspirational leadership.

This time, let’s take a closer look at some emotions that most leaders think of as undesirable in a workplace. What’s more we are afraid of them, don’t know how to deal with them and fear when we need to face then in our own team.

Let’s see what these emotions are, what they are trying to tell you and why they are important.

There are four core “negative” emotions – fear, anger, guilt, and sadness/grief. Most of the time, these emotions don’t make us feel very good. Some people react by burying and denying the negative emotion, some lash out at others, some withdraw into themselves – in any case, for most people, this type of emotion is something they try to avoid.

When we try avoid these feeling, it’s natural that we also try to avoid them at work. Even if as a leader we are supposed to manage them. Becoming aware of these emotions is an essential part of learning to respond, not react, to them. Moreover, as a manager you can teach others to do the same.

How to make friends with the negative emotions?

How to make friends with the negative emotions?

There is one simple tip. Think of these emotions as being signals for you, blinking yellow lights telling you to slow down and figure out the message that they’re sending you. 

All of these so called “negative” emotions are a sign to make an adjustment – if you just remember that, you’ll be well on your way to becoming aware of their messages for you.

So let’s look at the four core “negative” emotions and what they might be trying to tell you. 

  • Fear is a means of self-protection/preservation, and also, a way to find out what you love. When you’re afraid, look at what you fear losing, and you’ll learn about your values, as well as the attachments you have in life. 
  • Anger is born out of love of self or others. When you’re angry, it’s because you feel that someone or something is somehow a threat to yourself or someone or something you love or value. 
  • Guilt helps you decide who you are. You feel guilty when you say or do something that goes against who you want to be, or who you think you should be. So guilt allows you the chance to discover more about yourself and to change your behavior to fit with the “ideal you.” 
  • Sadness and grief help you remember your vulnerability in this world. They keep things in perspective and give you the opportunity to grow. They also teach you about what’s valuable to you, and help you learn more about how to appreciate life. 

So next time you experience a “negative” emotion, take a moment to reflect, and then respond consciously instead of reacting as you usually do. If you notice these emotions in others – ask them these questions: 

  1. Where is this feeling coming from? 
  2. What is fear/anger/guilt/sadness trying to tell you? 
  3. How can you use this message for your benefit? 

These 3 questions are helpful not only for your team members, but are also worth asking yourself.

My personal recommendations:

Would you like to strengthen your leadership skills and become conscious & agile Leader? Would you like to build conscious & agile leadership team in your organization?👇

Let’s talk!

Enjoyed reading?
Have a look at other blog articles: